Redemption Day
by glittergirl20
Summary: Redemption Day is a celebration that started the year after the war. All of the victors come to the Capitol and celebrate what we have redeemed but what we have also lost. It is a nice message but I don't like going there because I just want to forget. In Annie's POV
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This was originally going to be a one shot for my Tales of the Sea Series but it just kept going on and on that I just had to make it a short story instead. Enjoy.**

**Chapter One**

I tap my fingers on the smooth tabletop thinking of what is going to happen in the next few weeks.

I close my eyes and can feel and tear drip onto my hand. I make my hand into a fist and bang it on the table.

I hear a gasp come from my sons lips.

"Come here buddy." I hear Finnick say. I hear the stairs creak and know he is taking him upstairs.

A few minutes later I hear them creak again and feel Finnick's hand on the small of my back. He kisses the top of my head and sits next to me.

"Annie." He says gently and brushes hair off my shoulder and kisses it.

I open my eyes and look at him.

"Hi." He says and kisses my cheek. "You okay?"

"I was just thinking about… the next few days."

"Redemption Day." Finnick says and I nod.

Redemption Day is a celebration that started the year after the war. All of the victors come to the Capitol and celebrate what we have redeemed but what we have also lost. It is a nice message but I don't like going there.

"It will be okay Annie." He kisses my forehead.

"I don't want to go." I whisper and can feel my chin tremble.

"It okay Annie. I will be right there with you. This year Nick can come with us too."

"Yeah we got _permission_. Why we needed it I don't know." I mumble. It was the worst when he was just one and we were told we had to leave. I don't think anything bad would've happened if we didn't go but, with the past we are used to it crossed our minds. I hated leaving him for that long, when he was just a baby. I don't like leaving him now and he is four.

"Don't worry it will be fine. Besides, with him there you probably won't have to do as much formal stuff." By formal stuff he means interviews and explaintions on what it was like being a victor and what you think of lie now. I hate it. I just want to forget but, every year I have to remember.

"I don't like being alone there Finnick."

"You won't be alone you'll be with our son."

"I guess." I mumble.

"He's excited for this." Which is true, I think it's just because we are leaving District 4.

"I know because he doesn't know what it was like before."

"He's five Annie." Finnick says smiling.

"Almost." I smile.

He kisses my temple.

"Almost." He repeats.

It's silent.

"We should pack we are leaving early tomorrow." He says.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out slowly.

We head upstairs and I head to our sons room to help him.

"Hi sweetie." I say.

"Hi mommy." He says not taking his eyes from his toy.

I sit next to him on the floor.

"Whatcha doing?" I ask.

"Playing." He smiles.

"What?" I ask and smooth his messy bronze hair. He looks just like Finnick. The resemblance is almost eery.

"That I'm the protector of the sea and all the fishies are my fiends." He smiles and picks up a stuffed animal fish.

"I see."

He smiles.

"Nick, we're leaving tomorrow why don't you pick what toys you want to bring." I say and smooth his hair.

"Can't I bring them all?" He says.

"No sweetie just a few." I say and kiss his forehead.

"Okay." He says disappointed. He picks some out and I place them near the bags.

"Mommy what are you doing?" He asks confused and worried.

"Putting it in the pile to pack."

"But mommy I still want to play with some."

I look to the clock and see it is 8:20

"Sweetie it's bed time."

"No mommy just a few more minutes."

"It's already past your bed time. Let's get you in your jammies."

"Mommy no." He says and stomps his foot.

"The sooner you go to bed the sooner it will be tomorrow and you will be on the train" I say.

He grumbles and stomps out of his room.

"Where are you going Nick?"

"To see daddy."

"Honey." I say. He stomps into our bedroom. The door was already open. I don't see Finnick I think he is in the walk in closet. "Why did you want to see daddy?" I say.

"Because he would let me stay up later."

"Sweetie you don't ask daddy something when I already gave you an answer."

"Mommy that's not fair." He says.

"Nick you don't do that because it isn't right."

"Mommy, no. I know daddy would let me stay up later."

"Do you want to get in trouble?" I say firmly.

"No!" He shouts.

I hear Finnick come out here.

"What's going on out here?" Finnick asks with a smile on his face.

"Mommy wants me to go to sleep."

"Well it's bed time." Finnick says gently.

"Daddy no. I want to play longer." He complains.

"You will be able to play more tomorrow and we will be on the train going to the Capitol." Finnick smooths his hair. "So let's get you into your jammies so you can go to sleep.

"Daddy." He whines and stomps his foot. Finnick picks him up and walks towards his room.

I follow.

We both eventually get him into his pajamas and tuck him in for bed.

"That was interesting." Finnick smiles.

"No that will be tomorrow when we wake him up. He is always fussy." I say.

"I know." Finnick says and kisses me

"He won't be the only person though." I whisper.

"Annie everything is going to be fine. I'm going to be with you and Nick will be with you." He kisses my forehead. "Okay?"

"Okay." I say.

Finnick kisses me.

"I love you." Finnick whispers into my ear and kisses the crook of my neck.

"I love you too." I whisper as he runs his fingers through my hair.

His hands run up and down my sides.

I sigh and don't have him stop.

* * *

><p>I get up and head to Nick's room. I open the door and see he is still sleeping.<p>

He has his teddy bear pressed to his chest and his bronze hair is like a mop on his head.

I don't want to wake him but it needs to be done. I walk to his bed and start to run my fingers through his hair.

He starts to stir. I kiss his cheek.

"Sweetie." I whisper and kiss him again.

"Mmmmmh." He groans.

"Nick, you need to get up." I whisper and kiss his forehead.

"Mmmmmh. Mama." He whines. He only calls me mama right when he wakes up.

"It's okay sweetie."

"No." He groans and rolls back over.

"Come here baby." I say and pick him up. He is holding his teddy bear and blankie tightly.

"No!" He shouts. "Put me down! I wanna go to sleep!"

"Sweetie you can sleep when we get on the train." I kiss his forehead.

"I want to sleep here!" He shouts.

"Nick it will be okay."

"No I want to stay here! I want to sleep here!" He shouts this is why I didn't want to wake him up. He is very fussy if he is woken up.

"Here sweetie let's sit down and get some breakfast in you."

"No!" He shouts.

I walk downstairs and see Finnick already there with breakfast.

"Here you go." He says and places scramble eggs in front of us.

"Okay here's breakfast sweetie."

"Mommy no!"

"It's okay sweetie, the sooner you eat the sooner you can go back to sleep."

I get him to eat a few bites but it doesn't really matter he is too fussy. I start to rub his back and he leans into me. I can tell he is going to fall asleep.

"Today is going to be rough." Finnick says.

I rub Nick's back.

"I think he will be okay once he gets more sleep."

"I think so too but sometimes he isn't."

"He's all excited for this he will be fine."

Finnick nods

"This is a special train right?" I ask and Finnick nods.

The train is just for the victors. We are assuming it is going from Twelve to the Capitol but aren't sure. If that's true. Haymitch, Peeta, Katniss, and Johanna will already be on the train.

I feel a lump form in my throat.

"Annie it will be okay." He says.

In an hour we get ready and head to the train. I can tell Nick is going to wake up soon. I hope he is okay. I hope I am too because I already feel a tightness in my chest that isn't going to go away. I hate this. I hate it. I want to stay here with Finnick and Nick or just stay here and let Nick sleep here. I want to forget about Redemption Day and the Capitol


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"Here we are." A train attained leads us to our cart. It is really more like two because we have our bedroom and then Nick has his own bedroom off to the side.

"Thank you." Finnick says. The attendant leaves with a smile.

I see the room and see the lavish decor. Fancy wood, glass, the fancy lights. Everything in here is supposed to have something that represents a District. I can see the obvious ones but I don't understand why they make it so fancy. I don't understand how the Capitol can still have so much money because the economy practically collapsed there after the war.

They are the same trains… kind of.

"So how do you feel?" Finnick asks and smooths my hair.

"Like I want to go home." I whisper and kiss Nick's head.

"Annie it will be fine." He kisses me. "I promise. I've never let you down before. Have I?" He says with a smile.

"I… not really." I mutter.

"Every year it's okay. It seems like it won't but, it will be." He places a stray hair behind her ear.

"I know." I say.

"Besides." He kisses my cheek. "This year we have him." Finnick says and rubs Nick's back. "It will be better Annie. We don't have to worry what he is doing back home." He kisses my forehead. "Besides, I know he will make you feel better."

"Don't me mean us?"

"Yes I do." He smiles. "Do you want to see who else is here?" Finnick asks.

"I guess." I say unamused. I kind of do but kind of don't at the same time.

"Annie you could stay in here with Nick if you don't want to. He is still sleeping after all." Finnick says and rubs Nick's back.

"No I want to. Besides, he will be awake soon."

"Okay." Finnick says and kisses my cheek.

We head to the common car. When we get there I see Johanna sitting on one of the pink couches writing something.

We go to sit down across from her.

She looks up.

"Hey." She says and smiles.

"Hi." I say softly.

Finnick says something but I don't hear him because I hear Nick say "Mama."

I pull him up and whisper in his ear.

"You're okay sweetie." I say and kiss his forehead.

"Mama." He says probably loud enough for everyone to here.

"That's the son?" Johanna asks sarcastically. She unlike the others have seen him before. In person anyways. She has seen him more than once and is usually there for his birthday. Johanna is close with us. Mostly because I think she has always been close with Finnick.

"Johanna he isn't in a good mood this morning." Finnick warns.

"Well I agree with him." She says and I smile.

"Mama." He says again and rubs his eyes.

I kiss his forehead and smooth his hair as he wakes up. Finnick smiles and kisses the top of his head.

"Daddy." He whispers.

"I'm right here." He says and kisses his forehead.

Nick snuggles into my chest.

"Who else is on the train?" Finnick asks her.

"Haymitch, Peeta, and Katniss. Haymitch is already good and drunk."

"He always is." Finnick says sadly.

"Mama." Nick says again.

I kiss his forehead.

"Yes sweetie?"

"I wanna lie down. I wanna be with teddy."

"Okay." I say.

"Do you want me to come with you Annie?" Finnick asks.

"No, we're fine." I say.

"Daddy." I hear Nick say.

"Yes?" Finnick asks and strokes his hair.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Finnick says.

"Okay." Nick says.

"Okay." Finnick smiles and kisses him.

I head back to our room with Nick in my arms and pass a grumbling Haymitch.

I get Nick in his bed and hand him teddy and his blankie.

He wraps blankie around and around and pushes teddy to his chest.

"Mama?" He says still tired.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Who were all those people you were talking about with Johanna?" He asks.

"The other people on the train with us sweetie."

He yawns unamused and rolls over.

I unpack since we will be on the train for at least two days.

It's been probably an hour when I hear the door open and turn to see Finnick.

"He still sleeping?" Finnick asks.

"I think he is in that land between sleep and awake."

Finnick nods.

"Lunch is gonna be in an hour." He says.

"Okay." I say.

"Everyone is going to be there. Well maybe not Haymitch."

"Okay."

Nick wakes up within thirty minutes and seems to be alright now.

"Mommy! Daddy! Look out the window it looks so awesome!" He shouts as the train heads through a tunnel.

"It really is, isn't." Finnick says. He is better at dealing with stuff when has to do with the Capitol. I don't know how to. I don't think I ever will know.

I sit on the bed and watch as Finnick is talking with our son. Nick is very excited and making big hand gestures.

I hear a giggle escape his lips. I love that sound.

I hear the door open and flinch.

"Lunch is ready in the dining car." A train attendant says and leaves.

"Woah people make our food here!" Nick exclaims.

"That's right sweetie." I say. "Are you hungry?"

He nods excited.

"Then let's go then." Finnick says.

Nick walks down the hallways quickly and into the dining car. The door opens and he gasps.

"Wow! Mommy! Daddy! Look at this!" He exclaims as he enters the room. Excited by how nice it looks. He didn't really notice before because he was tired.

"Crystals are hanging from the ceiling!" He says talking about the chandeliers. He jumps up and down from excitement. He runs over so he is underneath one. "So pretty!" He says.

I see Peeta smiling. Johanna is too but Katniss is not. She has a strange expression on her face

"Johanna!" Nick shouts happily as he runs up to her.

"Hi Nick." She smiles. "You seem better than before."

"I was tired because mommy woke me up." He says and I smile.

"Oh I see." She says looking at me.

"It's so nice here!" He exclaims.

"Yes it is." She says. Nick probably can't tell that this answer is distant and far away. She like all of in this room aren't very fond of going to the Capitol again.

"Nick come here." Finnick says and he does. "Sit down so you can eat." He says gently.

"You sit next to me Daddy." He says.

"Of course." He says and kisses his forehead.

"Mommy too?" He asks.

"Mommy too." He says and I sit next to him. On my other side is Johanna and across from me is Katniss.

The lunch is Capitol created so it is fancy.

"Mommy this stuff looks yucky." Nick whispers.

"It's fine sweetie. It tastes really good." I say.

He wrinkles his nose.

"Mommy I just want normal food. I like what you make." He says.

I smile.

"Sweetie it's fine." I say and kiss his cheek. "Look at daddy." I say.

"What about him?" He asks confused.

"Daddy is eating this so if you do you will he just like him." I say.

"Just like him!" He shouts.

"Indoor voice Nick." Finnick scolds.

"Sorry." He whispers ashamed.

"It's okay." I say. I give him the food Finnick took so he could be just like daddy. I gave him mostly District 4 bread though because I know he likes it.

He stops eating and is playing with his fork.

"Stop that sweetie." I say.

"Okay." He grumbles and crosses his arms.

"What's your name?" He says pointing at Peeta. Who smiles.

"Peeta." He smiles

"We have that at home pita bread. It's yummy." Nick smiles.

"Well I can make that and other types of bread but most importantly cake." Peeta smiles.

"I really like cake. Chocolate is the best! But mommy doesn't think so. She likes white cake."

"This is true but, daddy likes chocolate" I say.

"I actually brought some cookies that we can have later." Peeta says. I'm sure he did. Baking is sort of his distraction. I just have Nick and Finnick.

"I realllllllllly like cookies." Nick says with a smile.

I look at his plate.

"Sweetie you didn't eat your fruit."

"I don't like peaches." He mumbles.

"If you don't eat them you can't have dessert." Finnick says.

"What's youuuuur name." He says and points to Katniss. Instead of eating his peaches.

"Katniss." She says gently.

"That's pretty." He smiles.

"Thank you. I like your name too." She smiles.

"I'm named after daddy!" He smiles.

"Yes you are." Finnick says and kisses him. "Now eat your peaches." Finnick says and Nick scowls.

We have casual conversation. Nick chirps in every so often and he finally finishes his peaches.

"So once we get to the Capitol we will see Plutarch right?" Peeta asks.

"I think so he won't be on the train." Johanna says.

I clear my throat uncomfortable.

"Let's go over here sweetie." I say to Nick. I pick him up from the booster seat and we head to the main car.

I set him down and he races through the halls even though he has no idea where he is going.

I lead him towards the main car and he smiles.

"Mommy! It's even nicer in here!" He says and spins around. He jumps and then sits down. He keeps running his fingers through the soft plush fabric. He looks so happy.

"Mommy." He says after awhile.

"Yes?" I say.

"I'm bored." He says.

"We can go back to the room and you can play with your toys." I say.

"Okay!" He shouts with glee.

The train slows and I know we are in District 3. In a few hours we will be in 2. Then in a day we will be in the Capitol.

Nick runs down the halls to find our room. When I open the door he runs to his room and picks up the toys he brought. He starts playing as if he was at home. I wish we were at home. I want to be home. I don't want to be here.

I watch Nick play for hours and it almost seems like we are home. Back in District 4 watching him play in his playroom.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

It's been a few hours and I haven't seen Finnick. They are probably busy with official stuff.

I watch Nick play for hours.

"Mommy!" He comes over to me.

"Yes?" I say.

"Are we gonna have dinner soon because my tummy is grumbling." He says.

"Yes we will have dinner soon. Let's go find daddy." I say.

"Okay!" He says happily.

The train slows and Enobaria gets on the train.

No one really likes her because she liked the Hunger Games. She liked murdering those people.

I watch Nick scurry through the halls excited to see Finnick again. He is running ahead of me. Enobaria stops briefly in front of Nick before walking off. She doesn't even acknowledge me.

Nick stopped walking though. I get a bad feeling in my stomach. I hurry to him and he has a scrunched face.

"Don't cry sweetie." I say but he does anyways.

I feel infuriated. I wonder what she said or did to make him cry. It could've just been the teeth.

"Mommy!" He sobs.

"It's okay sweetie." I say and pick him up and kiss him.

The door opens again but this time it is Finnick. We are only a few steps from the main room. He probably heard Nick crying.

"Mmmmmmh." Nick whimpers.

"It's okay buddy." Finnick says and rubs his back. Finnick kisses the top of his head.

"What happened?" Finnick whispers.

"Enobaria she did something."

Finnick sighs from anger.

"Finnick no just stay here." I say knowing he wants to go after her.

"Okay." He says.

Nick has calmed down although his face is tear stained.

"Do you want to go to the main room still baby?" I ask.

He nods but grasps my tightly.

"Stay with me." He whispers.

"Daddy and I will be right with you Nick." I say and kiss the top of his head.

"Okay." He whimpers.

"You can go back we will be right there." I say and Finnick nods and kisses Nick.

"Come here baby let's get you cleaned up."

"Okay." He whimpers.

I wipe his face so it is free of tears and snot.

"All better." I say and kiss his forehead

"Mommy?" He whispers.

"Yes." I say.

"Can I being teddy with me?"

"Of course you can." I say.

He walks next to me and we head to the main room.

Finnick informs us that dinner won't be ready for another hour.

"I want daddy." Nick whispers. Finnick picks him up and places him on his lap so he is facing him.

"You're okay buddy." Finnick says.

I keep stroking Nick's hair. Nick eventually snuggles into Finnick's chest. He is twirling Finnick's shirt in circles like he does with his blanket. I keep rubbing his back and Finnick keeps kissing the top of his head.

I look up and notice Peeta smiling at us.

I smile back.

"Such a nice family." Peeta says. I would think he was being sarcastic if his voice wasn't so genuine.

Something about this upsets Katniss because she leaves the room and Peeta soon follows.

"What was that about?" I ask Johanna.

"You know that whole shit-

"Johanna." Finnick says because Nick repeats words a lot. We don't want him to be repeating words like that.

"I'm sorry I'm not used to being around a four year old."

"That's how old I am." I hear Nick mutter into Finnick's chest.

"Like I was saying Katniss doesn't want to have kids but Peeta does even though he doesn't care if he doesn't get them because he kisses the ground Katniss walks on. But she feels guilty. More so because you guys are you know."

Finnick and I look at each other.

"You know what?" I ask.

"Like the picture perfect family."

"We aren't-

"I know you aren't Finnick, but it seems that way sometimes." She says with a smile.

"Well you can't really blame her. I mean… District 12, the Hunger Games, her sister." I say defensively

"No, but it's odd. It's not my business though."

"No, it's not." I say and she smiles.

"You see Enobaria yet? She came in and gave us all a great snarl." Johanna says.

I can see the grasp Nick has on Finnick's shirt has tightened and he whimpers.

"Do you want teddy Nick?" Finnick asks him. I know he does because he asked if he could bring him out here but I never got it for him. That's his security blanket teddy can also make him feel better. Sort of like Finnick and Nick to me.

Nick nods.

"Let's go get him then." Finnick kisses his cheek. "Okay?"

Nick nods into Finnick's chest still holding onto his shirt tightly. He picks him up and walks out to retrieve his teddy bear.

"Okay what was that all about?" Johanna asks.

"She made him cry." I say.

"Why?"

"I don't know, she said something to him and he started crying." I say.

"I guess her cold hearted nature hasn't changed. He's just a kid though. A cute one at that." She says.

"Yes he is. I just don't understand how someone can be so mean. To a child." I say

"Yeah kinda wish she didn't have to come here for Redemption Day."

"Kinda wish none of us had to do this Redemption Day." I whisper.

She smiles.

"I deep down Annie you know this is a good thing."

I sigh and know she is right.

"I know but, if they had it at home or in another District it would he fine. The Capitol." I shiver.

"You seem to hate it more than the rest. I know you have… issues." She says delicately.

I don't have 'issues' sometimes. Not as much as before. I start scream uncontrollably. I zone out. I hear the chuckle of dead President Snow. Neither Finnick or myself can be around roses without losing it.

I don't like doing these things especially in front if Nick. It doesn't happen as much because I feel happy and less nervous when Finnick and Nick are around. However it is still there and that's why I don't want to be alone with Nick in case something happens. It's hard to explain why mommy starts screaming or crying for no reason to a four -almost five- year old.

I don't know what Finnick says, I just know it makes Nick feel better. I try to talk to him after but he seems fine. I love him so much and wish I didn't scare him. I wish I was normal.

"Annie I'm sorry if I offended you." She says worried.

"No you didn't. I think... I just don't like it because Finnick almost died there. I thought he died there." I say softly.

It is true. I got told he died trying to protect Katniss. They thought that is what happened but he was just badly injured. I don't exactly know what happened neither does Finnick because he lost too much blood. One way or another though when he awoke he was in some refugee camp.

A couple of months later he came back home. It took him awhile to heal and travel back home. I thought I was seeing things but after awhile I knew he was really back. By the time he came back I was showing a little. I think Finnick just thought I gained a little weight until I told him. I've never seen him so happy before.

"I see." She says.

"I just… I understand and get it but, I don't like people asking me questions about this. I start to feel all panicky. Last hear I almost passed out because of the hyperventilating." I say.

"Yes well lucky for you, Finnick is getting you out of pretty much everything. Except when we have to sit on the stage. You should've brought Nick to this every year."

"Well, we had to get 'permission' to do so."

"That's some bullshit. I mean you had to leave Nick when he was just a baby."

I pick my nails at the memory.

"I know. I cried so much." I clear my throat. "Why I thought we had to leave him was stupid."

"Well with Snow and everything it isn't stupid." She pauses. "Why did you keep going then?"

I shrug.

"I actually don't know." I pause. "Finnick said it was the right thing to do. I knew he was right. Just like I knew he didn't want another Hunger Games."

Johanna looks to the ground awkwardly because she did want another one.

"I didn't mean it like that." I say.

"I know." She smiles. "You know the rumor for not being able to bring him right?" She says

"No, what's the rumor?" I ask confused.

"So Katniss doesn't have to see the perfect family."

"Johanna I doubt she said-

"I doubt she did as well I think Plutarch did it."

"Well I'm not surprised." I say truthfully. "It's not gonna happen again... hopefully. Besides, Nick's generally excited about this."

"I could tell in the dining car." She smiles. "It's not as easy as it looks is it? I mean being a mom."

"Correct, but I love him so much."

"You ever think about having more?" She asks.

"It has come up in conversation but… I don't know."

It has. I do but at the same time I don't. I don't like screaming in front of Nick. I don't think I would want to make another child frightened but, I do want Nick to have a sibling. Even though the age difference might not make them as close. I still want that. I just don't know if I will be able to handle it.

"I'm sorry it's not really my business." Johanna says.

"Johanna Mason you are the person who likes to dig into other peoples business."

I hear the door open and turn to see Finnick and Nick holding teddy. He isn't as snuggled into Finnick's chest. He is smiling at Finnick.

"Who's that you got there?" Johanna asks smiling.

"This is teddy." Nick says holding him out proudly. "He is my best friend and I love him so much." He strokes him. "He always makes me feel better." He smiles and so does Johanna.

"Set me down daddy." Nick says.

"As you wish." Finnick says and sets him down. Nick sits on the soft carpet. He lays down and the door opens again. It's Katniss and Peeta again. It looks like Katniss was crying. Maybe Johanna was right Plutarch didn't want Nick here not to upset her.

Nick starts to make carpet angels.

"Don't do that Nick." Finnick says.

"Why?" Nick asks.

"Yeah why?" I tease.

"He could get rug burn."

"Oh I see." I say.

"Okay." He mumbles.

* * *

><p>Dinner takes place and thankfully Enobaria decided to stay in her room.<p>

We head back to our room and I tuck Nick in for bed.

I watch the night sky for a while.

"What's wrong love?" I hear Finnick whisper.

"Just waiting." I say removed.

"For what?" He asks confused.

"To see the skyline."

"We probably won't be able to see it until dawn. Even then it's at least three hours until we are in Capitol city." He says and kisses my shoulder.

"I know." I say.

"Then why do you want to see it love?" He asks and strokes my hair.

"Because when I see it I always get the same feeling."

"Annie." He says gently. He knows the feeling I'm talking about and it isn't a nice one. Whenever I see the Capitol skyline I get the same feeling I did when I first saw it. Fear and disgust. I know I shouldn't be disgusted anymore because times have changed and the people there have changed. Although, the fashion is still a head scratcher. There are any good people there like our President Paylor.

"I know." I say and lean in to kiss him.

"Maybe it's better if you don't look then." He says and pushes hair behind my ear.

"Maybe." I whisper. I lean into Finnick and he hugs me. We fall down on the bed.

"I will take care of you Annie." He says and kisses my temple.

"I know you will." I say and kiss him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I gasp awake and am shivering. I don't know if it's from fear or the cold. I look to my side and notice Finnick isn't there. However, the warmth from is body is still present.

"Finnick." I whimper.

I hear the door to Nick's room open and out Finnick comes out.

"Are you alright Annie?" Finnick asks gently.

"What were you doing in there, is Nick alright?"

He nods.

"I was just taking him to the bathroom. He didn't know where it was."

"Doesn't he have one in his room?" I ask as Finnick gets back in bed.

"Not on his side." He kisses my cheek. "Are you okay?"

"I think so."

I scoot over and lean on his chest.

"I love you Annie Cresta. I always will.

"Annie Cresta is no longer."

"My sincerest apologies Annie Odair."

"Much better." I whisper but grasp his shirt similar to Nick did earlier today.

"You okay Annie?" He asks and kisses the top of my head.

"I just… I feel…" I get up and go to the bathroom. I get sick. Trains and me have never been friends. Whenever I got on one I would eventually vomit. It would usually happen in the night time. Although for every other Redemption Day I haven't gotten sick.

Finnick comes behind me and rubs my back.

"Old habits die hard I guess." He says and I can hear the smile.

"Not the time Finnick." I groan.

"I'm sorry love." He says. "Nick said he felt nauseous too."

"Great. I don't want him to get sick." I say worried.

"I don't think he will Annie." He kisses my forehead. I brush my teeth and then we get back in bed. I lay on his chest and listen to his even breathing.

"Did you have a nightmare Annie?" He asks gently.

I nod.

"I always do on the trains." I whisper.

Finnick kisses the top of my head.

"I know." He says sadly. "Do you want to talk about it?" He whispers and kisses my forehead.

"Not really. I just want you close." I say.

"I can do that." He says and wraps his arms around me. "You're safe here Annie." He whispers into my hair and kisses me. My hands unclench and I can feel my eyes get heavy.

"I love you." I mutter.

Finnick kisses my forehead and then I drift to sleep.

* * *

><p>"Mommy! Daddy!" I hear and then feel a bounce on the bed. "Wake up! Wake up!"<p>

Finnick let's go of me.

"Good morning." Finnick says.

"Good morning daddy!" Nick shouts.

I sit up and feel nauseous. I get up and head to the bathroom.

"Yuck." I say looking in the toilet.

I brush my teeth and head back out.

"Mommy what's wrong?" Nick asks worried.

"Nothing sweetie." I say and sit next to him and Finnick on the bed.

"Okay." He says wary.

"I think the tickle monster has come out to play." Finnick's says and start to tickle Nick. Getting rid of the conversation of me getting sick.

"Daddy." He gasps in between giggle. "Stop." He says. Finnick does and kisses the top of his head.

"Mommy, daddy." He says.

"Yes?" I say and ruffle his hair.

"I'm hungry." He says.

"Okay." I kiss his forehead. "We can get you something to eat." I say.

"Let's go." Finnick says.

We walk to the dining car still in our pajamas. I doubt it will matter. I don't think there is a dress code.

I sit down.

"Mommy can I sit in you lappie?" Nick asks.

"No you're a big boy you have your own chair." I say.

He pushes his eyebrows together.

"Daddy."

"Yes." He says.

"Can I sit in your lappie?"

"Nick we have been over this. You don't ask one of us the same question because you got an answer you didn't like." I say.

"Okay." He grumbles.

"Do you understand?" Finnick says.

"Yes daddy." He says disappointed.

"Okay, now what do you want for breakfast?" I say and smooth his hair.

"I want pancakes." He says.

"Okay." I say. I'm sure they can make something as simple as that.

"Make sure they are because last time you made them they weren't." He says.

"Sweetie when did I mess up?" I ask confused. I don't remember ever messing up pancakes.

"You didn't give me pancakes because it didn't have the little squares to hold my syrup."

"Nick those are waffles." Finnick says.

"No they aren't they are pancakes." He says.

I look at Finnick and smile.

"Of course they are." I say and kiss the top of Nick's head.

"Yay!" Nick says.

He gets his 'pancakes'. Finnick cuts them for him. Nick smiles and starts eating them.

"These are reallllly good." He says.

"Good." I say.

"But mommy."

"Yes?" I say.

"I like yours better."

"Well actually sweetie-" I'm about to say Daddy makes them but, he stops me.

"Oh my gosh what is that!" He says and runs to the window. He sits on the wrap around couch and presses his hands to the window. I see it. It's the Capitol. It doesn't look as futuristic anymore because after the war their economy crash. They didn't really have the money to fix it. Paylor some how evened it out or something. I'm not entirely sure. I could ask Finnick or Paylor when we see her today.

"That's the Capitol." I hear Finnick say. I also hear the door open.

"It looks so awesome!" He shouts with excitement. "It looks like a ride. Mommy, daddy when are we gonna get there?" He says with glee.

"Too soon." I hear Haymitch grumble.

"Oh…" Nick says confused.

"It should be in a few hours." Finnick says. He gives a disapproving nod towards Haymitch.

"Oh boy!" Nick shouts excited and presses himself closer to the window.

He stares out the window for a few minutes. Johanna, Haymitch and Beetee all sit at the table.

Nick hops off the couch and is hurrying to the door.

"Where are you going sweetie?" I ask.

"I wanna get ready!" He shouts and claps his hands.

"After you finish breakfast you can get ready." I say because he has barely touched his 'pancakes'.

"Mom-eeeeeee." He whines.

"Remember how good it tasted though." Finnick tells him.

"Fine." He says and walks back to the table disappointed.

"Hi Johanna!" He shouts.

"Good morning." She smiles.

"I'm so excited!" He waves his fork around getting syrup everywhere.

"Sweetie just eat your food." I say.

He plows through his food and I'm worried he is going to get a tummy ache later. I'm starting to get a little nauseous myself.

"Can we get ready now?" Nick asks still excited.

"Yes we can." Finnick says and pinches his side causing a giggle to leave Nick's lips.

He head to the room and get Nick ready. Bathe him and then get dressed. Then Finnick and I get ready. Then all we have to do is wait to get to the Capitol.

I lie down in the bed.

"Is something wrong love?" Finnick asks and kisses my forehead.

"Just the train. I can't believe I am going to say this but I can't wait till we can leave it."

Finnick smiles and pushes hair from my face.

"That bad?" He asks gently.

"Little bit." I say

"I can fix that." He says in kisses me.

In around thirty minutes the train stops. We are in the Capitol.

Complies


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

We get off the train and head to the hotel, well try to there are reporters everywhere. I forgot how invested people are in this. Yes it is a major holiday but, still... can't people just calm down. I know without the victors here the holiday would be missing something but, I just wish the reporters wouldn't be right here at the train station. It reminds me too much of when I came here to mentor. People would always shout what they thought of the tributes or if they thought they would die or some other disgusting comment. It isn't like this now. They aren't really shouting anything. They are asking some decent questions. I don't understand why they don't just wait for the press conference; that will take place either tonight or tomorrow. You get to know most of the schedule when you have done this more than once. It is usually the same every year.

Redemption Day is longer than a day though. I guess Redemption week didn't roll off the tongue as well. To be fair the things we do before are all leading up to it. Redemption Day is generally just a celebration. I wouldn't call it a party because there is an atmosphere of sadness in the air.

It usually goes something like this.

First day check into the hotel have a brief meeting with Plutarch and Paylor where we get the schedule. Then look 'decent' for the press conference. Really they just make sure your clothes aren't all wrinkled and that you look presentable. Sometimes they put makeup on you but, it is just that natural stuff that makes you look younger or something. Makeup is still a mystery to me at least it isn't as insane as before...

Second day. More interviews. Talk with Paylor about government stuff. I usually don't pay attention to this bit. Not because I don't care but, because I don't usually understand what she is saying. Finnick gives me an explication that makes it easier for me to understand. I always wonder why Paylor just doesn't say what Finnick tells me. Then again since I have never voiced how confused I am she probably thinks everything is fine. After that it is pretty much free time until the nice dinner where important government officials are there that we meet and talk with. I usually find a more isolated area with Finnick after dinner is more or less over. I don't want to be rude but, I, and probably everyone else knows, that it is for the best. After that it is time for bed or just time to go back to your room.

Third day. This day isn't as bad. You just go to the main room of the suite and talk with the victors about what we are going to do for Redemption Day. We have to do little speeches or whatever and then some activity for something people can participate in. It isn't bad. It's usually something kind of fun. Last year we just released a lot of balloons for all the people who died before we won back our freedom. The year before that had to do with flowers I only remember because some of the petals flown in the air. It made it look like colorful rain.

Day Four. Go to schools to talk about what it was like. Each victor goes to one school, except for myself and Finnick because I couldn't go somewhere alone. Students ask questions and we answer them. I don't like this. The kids ask important questions. They deserve an answer but... I can't answer them. The flashbacks. Finnick does all the talking even when questions are addressed to me. He still answers. I don't know why. I could probably answer some but, it would get out of hand after a few. I always wonder what the students think I'm doing there. We have usually been assigned to the age range of middle school students to sophomores in high school. They will ask more detailed questions.

Redemption Day. Make our little speeches and do the activity we all decided on. Then it is generally easier. We can't just go back to the suite but, it isn't bad. It's nice to see people celebrate the things we have gained. It's obvious to tell the people in the crowd who have lost someone. Especially when they do the remembrance activity we have planned. I remember a few years ago a woman just started crying. You could tell she was still grateful for what we have earned but if you lost someone no matter what you earn you can never get that person back. That's how I felt when I got told Finnick was dead. Even when I got told I was pregnant I still felt a hole in my heart.

We head inside and get checked into the hotel. The thing I don't like about this is that all the victors share the penthouse suite. It's not so terrible but, I wish I could just be with Finnick. Especially in the Capitol. I wonder how it will work this year with Nick though.

"Wow look how high the ceilings are." Nick says looking up.

"It's because this place has lots of rooms. It holds lots of people." Finnick says.

"How many daddy?" Nick asks.

"Probably hundreds."

"Wow!" He shouts and it echoes in here so you can hear it go on and on. "That was cool." Nick says.

"Yes but don't do it again." I say gently.

"Okay mommy." He smiles.

"I'm gonna get us check in." Finnick says.

He leaves and Nick keeps looking around.

"You looking for something sweetie?"

He shakes his head.

"I'm just looking. It's so cool here mommy." He says.

"I see." I say and wraps arms around him. I kiss his cheek causing him to giggle

"I love you mommy." He says.

"I love you too."

I see Finnick come back towards us. He has a strange look on his face.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing." He says.

"Okay."

"Are we going upstairs now daddy?" Nick says excited.

"Yes." He smiles.

We head to the elevator and Finnick doesn't click on the penthouse floor. He presses the one beneath it.

"No penthouse this year?" I ask.

"No." He says. "We get to be alone." He smiles. Finnick doesn't like this I can tell. I don't mind. I actually prefer this. I always wanted to be alone and not with the other victors.

The floor dings and we get out. Nick runs in our room. It is a suite. It looks familiar. It does look like a smaller version of the penthouse but… there's something about it.

Nick jumps on the couch.

"It's so soft." He says.

"You okay Annie?" Finnick asks.

"This place just looks familiar." I say looking around

Finnick looks away.

"Why are you so upset that we didn't get penthouse level? Are you that high maintenance Finnick." I tease.

"No it's just... I'm not going to shatter the picture if you don't see it."

"See what?" I ask confused.

"Annie-

"Sweetie do not jump on the couch." I tell Nick.

"Please. This is so soft and bouncy."

"Sweetie you could get hurt if you fall off." I say and walk closer towards him.

"I won't fall off. I promise." He smiles.

"You can't promise that because accidents happen Nick." Finnick says.

"Alright." Nick says.

"Annie." Finnick says and I look towards him.

"Yes?" I ask.

"I have to do that thing with Paylor and Plutarch. You can stay here though to be with Nick." He says.

"Really?" I say relieved.

"Really. Someone has to watch him after all."

I smile.

"Daddy why are you leaving?"

"To do something important but don't worry mommy will be with you."

"Okay." Nick smiles.

"I will be back probably within an hour. If you need something though just come to the conference room on the main floor. Okay?"

"Okay." I say and he kisses me.

"I love you." He says.

"What about me daddy, do you love me?"

"Of course I do Nick. I love you so much." Finnick says and kisses him.

Nick giggles.

"Good because I love you soooo much too." Nick says.

"Good I'm glad." Finnick says. "I'll be right back you two. Nick be good for mommy."

"Okay." He smiles.

Finnick heads to the elevator and then leaves.

"Okay sweetie let's unpack all your things."

"Allllllllright!" He says enthusiastically.

I get to a room and start to set things away and put out his toys.

"Mommy this place is cool." He says and then grabs one of his stuffed animal fish.

The unsettling feeling of familiarity is bothering me until something catches my eye. The lamp. The lamp that was in all the floors of the hotel rooms we stayed in during the Hunger Games. This looks like those rooms. This looks like those rooms. Are we in those rooms? Did I just forget what the hotel looks like?

I can suddenly hear my heartbeat in my ears.

"Mommy?" I hear.

I feel like crying or screaming but I don't want to in front of Nick. Especially with Finnick not here.

"Mommy are you okay?" He asks.

I try holding my breath or counting to ten but it isn't helping. I wrap my arms around myself and somehow start rocking back and forth.

"Mommy?" Nick says and sits next to me. "Mommy are you okay? Mommy?" He puts his small hand on me.

I open my mouth to tell him I'm alright, but a sob like scream comes out instead.

"Mommy what's wrong?" He asks worried.

I just start crying. I don't want to but I can't stop it. I can't help it. I hate myself. I hate myself.

"Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?" He says. He sounds worried now. He's only four. He has seen me cry before, scream too but Finnick usually takes him away so he doesn't see it all but Finnick isn't here right now.

The terrible memories just keep coming back.

_Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying. _I think to myself.

"Mommy." Nick says and it sounds like he is going to cry.

_Stop crying. You're scaring him. Stop Annie. Stop._

It's no use I can't stop it. This is probably why Finnick didn't want to shatter the picture. He didn't want me to see it.

"Mommy." I hear Nick whimper.

I wish I could say something, anything, but I'm too upset and scared. For now I can only cry and scream. I hate myself. I hate being this way. I hate it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"Mommy please stop crying." Nick whimpers. "Mommy." He whimpers. I think he is crying. He probably doesn't know what to do. If we were at home he would go to Finnick. If Finnick wasn't there he would probably go down a few houses to my parents. He is only four though. I don't think he would think to do that. Just like I don't think he knows what to do now. It's not like he can find Finnick. He doesn't know where he is. He doesn't know how to use the elevator anyways. I doubt he would be tall enough to hit the down button.

"Mommy." He cries. "Mommy. Please be alright. Mommy. Don't die." He sniffles. "Mommy."

His voice has suddenly become muffled. I'm not crying. I'm drifting. Drifting away from reality. I feel like screaming but don't. I don't feel like doing anything. Eventually I come back around in time to hear the elevator ding. I doubt it's been an hour. I hope it hasn't been an hour. I look at Nick and can tell he has been crying by the tears and snot on his face. He also looks frightened. He has every right to be. Before I can say anything he leaves the room.

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! I need help!" It might not even be Finnick. Still it is someone. "Daddy! Daddy! Come here! I need help!" I hear frantic footsteps.

"What's wrong?" Finnick asks.

"Mommy." He says and starts crying.

"Where's mommy? What's wrong with mommy?" Finnick asks gently. I can tell he is worried though.

Nick just keeps crying.

"Where's mommy Nick?" Finnick says firmly.

"She keeps crying and screaming. Daddy, I'm scared she is hurt. Daddy I don't want her to die." He whimpers.

"Mommy isn't dying. She's fine." Finnick says reassuringly.

"No she's not. Daddy you didn't see her. She's hurt. Something is wrong."

"Here let me talk to mommy you can stay here." Finnick says and takes him somewhere.

I hear the door open then close. I wonder where he put Nick. He thought I was dying. I start crying at the thought.

"Annie." Finnick says gently and sits next to me. He wraps his arm around me and I lean into him.

"Shhhhh. It's okay Annie. You're here with me. You're safe here. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He kisses my forehead. "Everything will be alright." He keeps kissing my forehead and rubbing my back. Within a few minutes he has gotten the crying to stop. The things Finnick can accomplish is astounding.

I'm just whimpering like a dying animal now.

"You're okay." He says.

I look up at him and he wipes some of the tears away. He kisses my cheek.

"I'm sorry Annie. I… I should've known you would figure it out." He whispers and kisses the top of my head. "I was going to tell you when I got back. I didn't think you would see it." My grasp around him tightens. "They aren't the same rooms Annie, just modeled after it."

"Why?" I whimper.

"They liked the design or something. I don't know. I'm trying to work out a room trade or something. Anyways it doesn't matter now because I'm here."

"You won't be here forever besides." I breathe in and then back out. I can feel the tears build up. "I-

"He's fine Annie. Johanna's with him in the living area."

"Finnick he thought I was dying." I whisper.

"It's okay Annie."

"He shouldn't be thinking that Finnick… maybe… maybe I'm not meant to do this."

"Annie it's just the Capitol it will be fine once we get home. I-

"No not the Capitol. I meant being a mom." I whisper softly. So softly I don't think he heard me.

"Annie how could you say that?" Finnick says hurt.

"Because it's the truth. I can't do it. I'm terrible. I made him cry Finnick. Me. His mother."

"Annie so one bad thing happened. You're an excellent-

"This would happen more often if you weren't here." I start crying again.

"Annie." He kisses the top of my head. "You can't control everything in your life. This is just something we have to live with. It is manageable and doesn't happen as often as you're thinking."

I scoff from anger.

"Annie. You're a good mother. Everything is fine. Our son loves you so much. That's why he was worried about you. He loves you."

"Yeah he loves me but, that doesn't make me a good mom." I sniffle.

"Annie." He says sadly.

"What?" I ask confused.

"It hurts me when you talk about yourself like this. I wish you could see that this is not that big of a deal and that you're an excellent mother."

"I wanna see mommy." I hear in the hallway.

"No mommy needs to be with daddy for a little while. Come here, let's go back to the main room. We can go on the balcony. You can see all the Capitol from there." Johanna says

"I just wanna see mommy." Nick sniffles.

"You will in a little while. She just needs your daddy for a little bit."

"No! I need to see mommy!" He shouts.

I start to hear them walk away. I think she is carrying him.

"No mommy! Mommy!" He shouts. "I need to see her!"

"You will soon Nick I promise." Johanna says.

"No!" He sobs.

"Your daddy is taking care of her. She is going to be fine Nick."

"Annie." Finnick whispers.

"Yes." I say.

"Do you think you're a good mother?"

"Sometimes." I whisper.

"It's better than no." Finnick says sadly.

"I guess." I lean on his chest for awhile, probably longer than I should.

"Annie." Finnick whispers after awhile.

"Yes?" I whisper.

"Do you wanna see Nick?"

I sniffle.

"Maybe."

"Do you want me to bring him here?"

I nod.

"Okay." He says and kisses my hairline. "I love you. I will be right back."

I hear talking. I think he is saying something to Johanna.

In a few minutes Finnick comes back carrying Nick. Nick's hair is messy and his eyes are puffy from crying.

"Mommy." He croaks out. He was crying. I wonder how long for. I see tear stains on his shirt.

"Hi sweetie." I say. Finnick sets him down and Nick comes running towards me. He hugs me tightly and nestles his head in my chest.

"Mommy." He whimpers and grasps my shirt. He starts twirling it like he would his blankie. I can feel a tear roll onto my shirt.

"Don't cry sweetie." I kiss the top of his head. "I'm okay."

"Mommy." He keeps saying over and over again. Finnick sits next to him and rubs his back.

"Mommy's okay Nick." He says and runs his fingers through Nick's hair. "She's okay." He whispers and kisses his forehead.

Nick sniffles and shivers from the crying.

"Why were you crying mommy?" He whispers barely audible.

"I… I..." My mouth goes dry. How can I explain this to a four year old?

Nick lifts his head from my chest. He looks so sad and scared. I wipe tears away from his eyes. "Sweetie I just don't like being here."

"But why?" He asks.

"Things weren't always like this sweetie. Things weren't always this nice."

"I know but why would that make you scream and cry mommy?"

It's hard to explain this to him. He will find out everything eventually but I want him to be pure and innocent for as long as possible.

I look over at Finnick for help.

"Buddy." Finnick says and Nick looks at him.

"What?" He sniffles and wipes his nose with his sleeve.

"Don't do that sweetie. You'll get your shirt all dirty." I say.

"I'm sorry." He whispers.

Finnick gets him a tissue and wipes his nose.

"Mommy. Daddy." He whispers.

"Yes." I say and push hair from his eyes.

"I… I'm scared." He whispers.

"Why are you scared Nick?" Finnick asks him.

"I don't want mommy to be hurt."

"I'm not hurt sweetie. I just got scared.

"But why?" He asks.

"Sweetie you know when you wake up from a nightmare you are scared and start crying."

He nods.

"Well that's what it was like for me. I'm sorry I scared you sweetie. I just couldn't help it." I say. I think this is the easiest way I can explain it to him so he can understand.

"Do you want teddy then mommy? I mean only when you need him?" He asks.

"No teddy's yours sweetie." I say smiling.

"Okay mommy." He clears his throat. "Mommy, daddy."

"Yes?" Finnick says and smooths Nick's hair.

"Maybe we should leave. I don't want mommy to be sad and scared ." Nick whispers.

"We can't leave sweetie." I kiss the top of his head. "Besides I don't want too." I say truthfully.

"But you're crying." He says and sniffles.

"I know." I run my fingers through his hair. "But, it's important to be here right now." I kiss his cheek. "Okay?"

"I don't understand mommy."

I kiss the top of his head.

"All that matters is that you understand mommy is alright." Finnick kisses Nick's cheek. "Okay."

"I know daddy. I just don't want her to be sad. I want you to be happy mommy." He smiles and kisses my cheek.

"I am happy sweetie." I start to tickle him and he starts giggling. He leans into Finnick's chest.

Finnick picks him up.

"Are you happy buddy?" Finnick asks.

Nick nods.

"I'm always happy with you daddy." He kisses Finnick's forehead. "And you too mommy." He smiles. Finnick walks closer to me. Nick puts his fingers in my hair. He leans in and kisses the tip of my nose.

"You want some ice cream?" Finnick asks him.

Nick nods enthusiastically.

"Do you think they have chocolate here daddy?" Nick says.

"They have multiple kinds of chocolate ice cream Nick."

"Oh boy!" He shouts.

"Let's go then." I say.

Finnick sets him down and he scurries to the kitchen.

"When do you think that is going to wear off?" I ask Finnick.

"What him liking ice cream?" Finnick smiles.

"No." I roll my eyes. "I meant the cute I'm always happy with you thing."

"He will always love us but I think we only have a few more years left."

"Yeah." I say.

Finnick kisses me.

"Yeah." He says smiling.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven.**

"Okay here's what you have to do Annie." says and hands me a piece of paper with a schedule. Some are highlighted.

"Only these three." He points.

I look at what they are. The decision on what to do on Redemption Day. Actual Redemption Day speech. I expected this and these aren't bad. I actually like these events.

Only one is on here that I don't like.

"Do we really have to go to the schools?"

Finnick nods and brushes hair off my shoulder.

"Don't worry. We are going to see young kids so it won't be weird if we take Nick with us."

"We are taking him with us?"

"We can't leave him here. Well we could but I-

"We." I correct. He smiles and kisses my cheek.

"_We_ don't want to leave him."

I nod.

"So for the rest of today is it just this?" I ask.

He nods.

"Just family time." He says and kisses me.

"Good." I say and look in the living room at Nick playing with his toys. It should be dinner soon.

"He's okay." Finnick whispers and kisses my temple.

"I know." I say but, I'm still upset that I made him so worried.

"Hey." He says and I turn towards him.

"Yes?" I ask.

"I got Johanna to trade with us." He says while running his fingers through my hair.

"That means we will be in the penthouse."

"So?" He asks confused.

"They didn't want us there." I mumble. I don't think that is entirely true. I think they thought we would like more privacy. Which is true but, I would rather stay in a place that doesn't make me want to sob.

"I don't care Annie. Unless you want to stay here."

"No." I whisper. "I don't want him around Enobaria though." I look at Nick he is waving around his toy boat, with a smile on his face. "She made him cry."

"I will make sure that doesn't happen again." He says in his protective voice causing me to smile.

"You're so protective of him."

"I am with both of you. I just don't want anything to happen. If it can be prevented you will best believe I will be doing everything to protect you two."

I smile.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"So when are we supposed to move and stuff?"

"Johanna said she would come after dinner is served."

"That's another thing, required eating with everyone. He will see Enobaria then."

"Not if Johanna conveniently asks us for dinner every night." He says and smiles.

"You two got it all figured out." I smile.

"You know it." Finnick says.

"Thank you." I say.

"For what?" He asks confused.

"Doing all of this."

"I can't have you crying." He kisses my cheek. "The thought of that tears my heart apart."

"Mine too." I say and kiss him.

"Mommyyyyyy!" I hear.

I get up and go over towards Nick. He is smiling.

"What is it sweetie?"

"I'm hungry." He whispers. I look to the clock, it is six which is when we usually have dinner.

"Okay." I say and kiss his cheek.

"Mommy can you make it?"

I smile.

"I'm sure I can." I smile. I'm sure I can if given the right supplies.

"Okay good because that stuff on the train was a yucky."

I run my fingers through his hair. He did complain a little. The food was a little fancier than he is used to.

"Mommy will make you something you like then." I say and kiss his forehead.

I hear Finnick come over here.

"Hi daddy." Nick smiles.

"Hey." Finnick says and kisses his cheek.

"Mommy is gonna make dinner." Nick smiles.

"She is." Finnick looks towards me surprised and kisses me.

I do make dinner and right when I serve it the elevator door opens and it's Johanna.

"Hello Odair family." She says with a smile.

"Hi!" Nick exclaims.

Johanna walks over here and sits down.

"Here you go baby." I say and place dinner in front of Nick.

"Thanks mommy." He smiles and starts eating.

"Is it good?" Finnick asks

"Wayyyy better." He smiles and so does Finnick.

"So you okay?" Johanna asks me and I nod. "That's good I don't know if Finnick told you already but-

"I have." Finnick smiles

"You really don't have to-

"Annie we are just switching rooms besides that means less…" She stops talking and looks at Nick. Whatever she was going to say, she must have thought it would've upset him.

"What are you talking about?" Nick chirps.

"Mommy, me, and you are going to go to a different room." Finnick says and rubs his back.

"Is this because mommy was crying?" He whispers.

"Yes." I say shakily.

"Will you be happy then?" He asks.

"Yes." I say.

"Good." He smiles and takes a bite of his food.

"How's it on your end?" Finnick asks Johanna.

"Been better. I think I will do better if I am alone though. As you both know I don't like people... most people." She smiles.

"Johanna." Nick says.

"Yes?" She smiles.

"Are you gonna stay here instead of mommy and daddy?"

"Yes." She smiles.

"Mommy, Daddy."

"Yes?" Finnick asks.

"Where are we going to be?"

"On the top floor." Finnick says

"Oh boy!" Nick smiles.

"Sweetie we aren't going to be alone. We will have to share." I say.

"With who?"

"The people from the train." Finnick says.

"All the people." He whimpers.

"She won't hurt you buddy." Finnick says and kisses his forehead.

Nick hugs Finnick.

"It's okay." He says repeatedly.

"Will mommy and you always be with me?" He whimpers.

"One of us will always be with you." I say and kiss the top of his head.

"Okay." He whispers.

"No one will hurt you Nick." Finnick says.

"Okay." He whispers

We finish eating and then start to get everything together so we can leave.

Johanna takes us up so we know which room is ours.

"This place is really big!" Nick shouts.

"Yes it is sweetie." I say.

We get to the living area and only Peeta is out here. Which I'm glad, he won't say anything. I'm sure Johanna told everyone something.

We get taken to the room and it is the room we usually stay in.

"Shouldn't there be an extra free room?" Finnick asks.

"They're using it for supplies this year." Johanna explains.

"Oh." I say.

"Yeah oh." She says and rolls her eyes.

"Okay here we are sweetie." I tell Nick.

The room is smaller and familiar. We stay here every year. I feel more relaxed.

"Where will I sleep?" Nick asks because there is only one bed.

"I'll show you." Johanna says and takes his hand. She takes him to the small connecting room that Finnick and I usually use to put our stuff in. It doesn't have a bed though.

"Don't worry she called in for one." Finnick says.

I nod.

"You okay?" Finnick asks.

"Yeah." I say shakily

"Annie what is it?"

"Nothing. Honest." I say truthfully.

"Okay." He says and kisses my hairline.

"See you guys tomorrow." Johanna smiles and leaves the room.

Nick comes running out after she is gone.

"Mommy, where's teddy?" He asks.

"He's here somewhere sweetie." I say. He had him earlier so I know we didn't leave him on the train.

Finnick looks through everything we brought from the room but can't find him.

"Sweetie were you carrying teddy here?"

He shakes his head and it looks like he is going to cry.

I smooth his hair.

"Don't worry sweetie teddy is here somewhere."

He sniffles.

"Can we go to the old room and look."

"Of course. Daddy will keep looking here." I say and kiss his forehead.

I pick Nick up and we head to the common room. I see teddy in the middle of the living room. We must have dropped him.

"Sweetie look." I say and he does.

"Teddy!" He shouts. I put Nick down and he runs towards him. He hugs teddy to his chest and pets him. "I love you." He says and I smile.

"I'm sure he loves you." I hear Peeta says

Nick nods.

"Of course! Teddy is my best friend!" Nick exclaims.

"That's nice." Peeta smiles.

Nick lies down and tosses Teddy up into the air and catches him. He then presses him tightly to his chest.

He's so precious. I love him so much.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Finnick left an hour ago to do interviews about Redemption Day. Finnick did get me out of some things. I don't think he really had to work for it. I think because they knew Nick was with coming with us they had this already set up. They probably knew we wouldn't just leave him to be taken care of by one of the many assistants. I like that. I like that they let us take him.

I creep into Nick's room and see him sleeping peacefully. I go to the kitchen. It's nice and quiet here. I like that. I sit at the table and start to sip my tea. Twenty minutes later I hear a 'Mommy'

I look up and see Nick with his blankie wrapped around him. His hair is still messy from sleep.

"Hi sweetie." I say gently.

He yawns.

"Mommy?" He says and rubs his eyes.

"Yes." I say.

"I'm hungry." He says.

"I can fix that." I say. I go over and pick him up. I have him sit down and he smiles. I order him orange juice and cereal. "Okay baby here's breakfast." I say and kiss the top of his head.

"Thanks." He says and I sit next to him.

"You sleep okay sweetie?" I ask.

He nods hesitantly.

"What's wrong sweetie?" I ask.

He takes another bite of his cereal.

"Nothing." He whispers. I can tell he is lying. Something is upsetting him. I wonder what. Maybe it is because I was crying yesterday.

"Nick you can tell me what's bothering you." I kiss his cheek. "Okay?"

"Mommy." He says and puts down his spoon causing the milk to splatter onto the table.

"Yes." I say and run my fingers through his hair.

He twirls his blankie.

"Come here." I say and hug him. He leans into my shoulder as I start to rub his back. "What's wrong sweetie?" I ask and kiss the top of his head.

"I think I want to go home." He whispers.

"Why sweetie?" I ask surprised. He seemed to be enjoying himself. Until I started screaming and crying. But after that he was fine. He seemed amazed with everything still and wowed at every little thing. I wonder what happened.

"I don't like sleeping here." He says softly.

"Why?" I ask confused. He was fine on the train.

He doesn't say anything.

"Why sweetie? You can tell Mommy." I say and kiss his forehead.

"It's too dark here." He whispers and pushes his head closer to my chest.

"I can fix that sweetie." I say and kiss his forehead. I didn't think of that. Like most children Nick doesn't like sleeping in the dark. He's afraid. At home he has a fish nightlight that changes color. He probably didn't have a problem on the train because lights flash through the windows.

I'm sure I can fix that. I can make him feel better. That's my job as a Mom.

"Okay?" I say and run my fingers through his hair. He nods into my chest. "See everything will be fine." I say and kiss the top of his head.

"Okay Mommy." He says and lifts his head.

I smile but he is still holding on tightly.

"Is something else bothering you sweetie?" I ask.

He shakes his head.

"I just love you Mommy." He says.

I smile and kiss him.

"I love you too." I say and he kisses my cheek. "Now you should finish breakfast." I say.

He smiles and goes back to his cereal. After breakfast I get him ready.

He picks out his clothes and then I get him to take a bath. I am towel drying his hair and he is giggling.

"Okay sweetie all done." I say and kiss his cheek. "Now what do you want to do today?" I ask. I am curious to see what he is going to say.

He hurries to the window and I smile. "I wanna go out there." He says and points out the window.

"Just outside?" I ask and he nods.

"I wanna see why it's so different Mommy. I wanna see why it is different from home." He smiles.

"Okay." I say knowing where I can take him. "Come here." I say. I take his hand and we head to the elevator.

He starts bouncing up and down "Where are we going Mommy?" He asks excited.

"You'll see sweetie." I say.

I end up taking him to a park. It's one of those ones that have statues of historical things. He had so much fun. He commented on the trees and the buildings. He said he likes it here but couldn't live without the sand and ocean. Just like Finnick.

We are in the elevator going back to the suite. I'm carrying Nick in the elevator because he is almost asleep. It is around the time for his nap.

"You have fun sweetie." He nods. I kiss his forehead. "That's good."

The doors open and mostly everyone is here. Finnick looks worried. I probably should've left some type of note.

"Annie." He says.

"Hi." I say and we head to the bedrooms so I can put Nick down for his nap. I set him down on his bed and pull the covers up. He is almost asleep but I put teddy next to him anyways. It is light enough outside that he shouldn't be afraid when he wakes up.

Finnick and I leave his room and head to ours.

"Where did you go?" He asks.

"The park… well a park." I say. Finnick nods.

"Where you okay?" He asks and laces his fingers with mine.

"Yeah it was nice. He had fun too." I say. "Also we need some type of nightlight. He told me he was afraid to sleep here." I say.

Finnick nods.

"Probably should've thought to bring that." Finnick says he sounds disappointed in himself.

"Finnick we barely ever travel and if we do he isn't with us." I say.

"I know but I don't want him to be afraid because we forgot something. Annie I don't want him to be afraid." Finnick says and I smile.

"You sound like me." I say.

Finnick rolls his eyes and smiles.

"Okay, I may be overreacting a little but he shouldn't be afraid. I mean... both of us don't like being here but he shouldn't be feeling that."

"He's fine Finnick. We will get him a nightlight and everything will be okay."

He nods and kisses me.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

**A/N: I know this is kind of fillery but… I liked it so I hope you did too.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

I wake up and look at Finnick. He is awake sort of.

"Finnick." I whisper.

"Mmmh." He moans and rolls over.

I roll my eyes. If I awoke screaming he would be awake faster than I could blink.

I get up out of bed anyways. Today we will all decide on what we will do for the remembrance ceremony on Redemption Day. It isn't that bad.

I head to the bathroom and brush my hair. If I'm going to the main room before I get ready I want to look somewhat presentable. I would shower but I know it would wake Finnick and Nick. I don't want that.

I head outside and don't see anyone. I go to the breakfast bar and make some tea. It makes my hands feel warm. It makes me feel comfortable. I hear footsteps and know someone else is in the room. I don't bother turning around. For all I know it could be Finnick. I hear the chair scoot our next to me and it isn't Finnick.

"Surprised you can be here by yourself." Enobaria says.

"I can be by myself." I mutter not meeting her gaze.

"You can look at me you know. It wouldn't kill you." She says.

I turn to her and she smiles. Those teeth still creep me out.

"Listen I'm sorry what happened on the train. Your child really shouldn't cry at anything but since his parents probably do-

"Good morning." I hear Peeta say. He still has sleep face and his hair is turned up every which way. I'm glad he interrupted her. I know it wouldn't end well.

Enobaria rolls her eyes and leaves.

"I really don't like her." I say more to myself than Peeta. He chuckles a little.

"Well it is justified." He yawns.

"Did you sleep?" I ask.

"For the most part. You know how it is." He says and I nod.

"So have you been okay Peeta? I mean…" I trail off not wanting to say episodes because I hate when people tell me that.

"Some days are better than others but I'm sure you feel the same way."

I nod.

"It hasn't been as bad for awhile. Ever since Nick was born I've been better. I think because I don't want him to worry but… a few days ago wasn't okay." I say.

"Johanna alluded to something. I'm sure it's fine Annie. I'm glad your doing well, Finnick too."

"Mommy." I hear and see Nick walking towards us holding teddy.

I pick him up and place him in my lap.

"You okay sweetie."

He nods.

"Daddy is sleeping loudly." He says and I smile. Finnick must've gone back into a deeper sleep because Finnick doesn't usually snore.

"It's because he is still very tired." I say and squeeze him causing him to giggle.

I kiss his cheek.

"You were on the train." He says and points to Peeta. "You made the realllly good cookies." Peeta smiles.

"Yes that was me." Peeta says.

"You make good cookies better than Mommy _or_ Daddy."

"I'm sure that's not true." Peeta says.

"It is." Nick smiles and rubs teddy.

"Are you hungry sweetie?" I ask.

He nods.

"Okay."

"Mommy I had his really neat dream." He says excited as I get him breakfast.

"What was it sweetie?" I ask.

I hear the elevator ding and out comes Johanna we are supposed to have that group discussion today so I'm not surprised.

"It was so neat Mommy all that water and I could swim just like the fishies. Never needing to come up for air."

"That's nice sweetie." I say and kiss his cheek.

"Johannaaaaa!" I hear Nick exclaim as she comes towards the kitchen.

"Hey cutie." She says and comes over and hugs him.

"So when is thing going to start?" She asks.

"When everyone is probably awake." Peeta says.

"Here you go sweetie." I tell Nick and kiss the top of his head.

"Thanks Mommy." He says and starts to eat his breakfast. He moves his head back and forth and starts to hum to himself.

"Katinss up yet?" Johanna asks Peeta.

"Has been for awhile. Just didn't want to come out here."

"Why?" Johanna asks baffled.

"Dunno." He says.

She rolls her eyes.

"You do you just won't tell us." Johanna says.

"Johanna." I say. She shouldn't be so invested in other peoples lives.

She growls and rolls her eyes.

"You ever gonna put a ring on that?" She teases.

"One day." I hear Katniss say behind her. Johanna looks fifty shades of red. At least I know she feels some what guilty.

"That's good. I'd rather be alone. Relationships are such a chore." She says.

"Johanna." I whisper because I don't want her to give Nick the wrong impression.

"Relax he isn't listening to us. He is so invested in his eating. Plus, he is doing that weird humming thing Finnick does when he doesn't pay attention."

"Glad you think so highly of me." I hear Finnick say. He comes over and kisses me.

"You own a hair brush Finnick?" Johanna teases. Finnick's hair is rather messy. It is turned up in all different directions.

"Hey I just woke up." He smiles

"Your son said you were sleeping loudly." Peeta says with a smile.

Finnick rolls his eyes and walks over towards Nick.

"Did you say that buddy?" Finnick asks walking over towards him but he just keeps humming. Nick probably didn't hear him. Finnick is a decent amount away and Nick is invested in eating.

"Oh looks like his father and zones out like his Mother. Really excellent parenting." I hear Enobaria say.

It is suddenly very quite in the room. I look at Finnick and he has that repulsed angry look. He wants to tell her off but there are too many people in the room and we don't yell in front of Nick.

I hear Johanna sigh she isn't afraid to tell anyone off. She is about to say something but then I hear Nick.

"Daddy!" Nick says breaking the awkward silence.

"Hey buddy." Finnick says and walks over towards him. "This isn't over." I hear him mutter to Enobaria.

Nick whispers something in Finnick's ear and Finnick whispers something back.

"Okay." Nick says.

"Okay." Finnick says and kisses Nick's forehead.

"Let's just get Beetee and Haymitch out here so we can get talking. Oh a and we can't forget that _mockingjay_." Enobaria says annoyed.

I sigh.

Nick doesn't look okay. He is staring at Enobaria.

I walk over towards him and rub Nick's back.

"It's okay baby. Do you wanna look outside? The skyline is pretty in the morning. The sun bounces off the buildings."

"Okay." He says a little wary.

"Come here." Finnick says and picks him up making sure to avoid Enobaria's gaze. He takes Nick to the sitting area. Which was meant for looking outside. Finnick is pointing at things and so is Nick. He turns to Finnick and giggles.

Finnick sets Nick down and then Nick runs to the window and presses his hands against it. He is bouncing up and down excited.

Enobaria smiles on Finnick's way back.

"Don't talk about him or to him."

She rolls her eyes.

"That kid is a disaster. Emotionally broken, cries at every little thing-

"He's four." Johanna interjects.

"Doesn't matter he's gonna be like Annie. Crazy and-

"What's going on out here?" I hear Katniss say.

"Nothing. Just wake up Haymitch and roll Beetee out here." Enobaria says and walks to the main room.

"That girl is crazy." Johanna says.

Eventually Haymitch and Beetee come out. We sit down in the common room and discuss what we should do this year for Redemption Day. Well we aren't all talking. Haymitch is sipping something out of a bottle. I'm looking at Nick still bouncing up and down. Finnick is glaring at Enobaria and she is glaring back. Really this whole thing is a bit bleed. Well... it usually is but not this bad.

We eventually decide that we should give our speeches and then give people time to talk on what they think and then release yellow flowers as remembrance.

We usually come up with different variations of the same thing. But the message is always the same. We have never given the people the opportunity to speak up. I think that is nice. I'm sure lots of people have things they want to say. I hope people who wish it was like don't before speak. That wouldn't go well for a remembrance day.


End file.
